The Fallen Shinigami
by devanir
Summary: The principal aim of this story is to present various points of the Undertaker's life as a Shinigami. They're not just random flashbacks, of course. Each one brings him one step closer to deserting his office and becoming...well what he is right now. As you will notice, I have taken a few liberties with the character. Please bear with me.


Ch.1 - A Fair Trial

Kosmach, Ukraine. 1582.

It was a quiet night.

The torrential downpour that had raged for hours and swamped the whole village was now over. It degenerated into a faint drizzle that fell on the run down rooftops, producing a rhythmic, almost peaceful sound. Still, the whims of the weather were not to be trusted; every single villager in Kosmach knew better than to foolishly stroll about at such a time. The wooden doors were kept shut and the streets remained drenched and silent in the dark, waiting for the morning sun to come.

There was nobody awake to hear the sound. It was a creaking noise that shattered the tapping silence of the rainfall, familiar and yet so bizarre, so alien to the sleeping bliss that had overcome the place. It was like the sound of laughter in a graveyard. The door opened wide and a tall man came out of the house at the end of the road. He didn't seem to mind the waterdrops that danced on him, making him part of the soaked scenery. He walked slowly and steadily down the alley, leaving the small hut behind him. Only once did he stop; for a moment it seemed he would turn back. But the moment passed and the man kept walking forward. He would never show up in Kosmach again.

No more than three hours ago, Anna was leaning over the windowsills and looking at the darkening sky. A single gaze was enough for her to realize what the gathering stormclouds portended. She quickly shut the windows and locked the door. The small fire of the stone hearth was hardly enough to keep her warm yet she was happy to have it. She carefully lifted the tiny soup pot and emptied its humble contents into the two wooden bowls that lied on the table right in front of her. The boiling food gave off a tickling smell but the man on the bed at the far corner of the room didn't seem to notice. Holding the bowls firmly in her hands, Anna approached him.

A wandering traveler, he had called himself. The title itself didn't do much to win over the hospitality of the villagers; the folks who lived there were open-hearted to each other but rather reserved towards strangers. Still, those were kind people and the times then were less suspicious than ours. The stranger requested a shelter for the night and the looming storm; come morning, he'd be on his way. While saying that his eyes fell on Anna. Their yellowish-green glimmer was a unique sight for her; her own eyes were deep brown, bordering on black, just like everyone else's in those parts. She suddenly felt the need to speak, to say something to him. Her offer took her aback but the stranger nodded in silence, as if her words were expected.

As the stranger followed her to her house, Anna was trying to justify her action to herself. She was the mayor's daughter and considered this to be expected of her, especially since Mother and Aneta were gone for four days now. They must have reached Hutsul by now. They would not return until the next full moon, possibly even later than that if the matchmaking went as planned. It was just for a single night and perhaps the man could entertain her with some amusing tales of his journeys and make her forget her loneliness. After all, Father always used to say that kindness to strangers was one of the qualities that made them better than the townsfolk.

Besides, he doesn't seem dangerous, she thought to herself as she stood above him, looking at him under the trembling candlelight. The man sitting on the bed was rake-thin; his long grey hair fell untidy over his shoulders and reached down to his waist. His face was pale and ordinary, with the exception of the unusual colour of his eyes. The grey rags he wore were apparently his sole possessions, along with a large wooden box he carried with him, as long and narrow as its owner. The man hadn't opened it once ever since he arrived at the village.

"_I made us something to eat._" she said, more than a little awkward, while offering him the steaming bowl. The man looked at her for a moment before taking the bowl in his hands. After a single gulp he raised his head and faced her with a crooked smile. "_This is truly yummy. I seldom feel the need to eat food, but just tasting this makes me think that maybe I am missing out on something._" His voice was hushed and his tone playful. The glimmer of his eyes though had simmered down and that made it easier for her to ask. "_What's your name?_"

He didn't answer her immediately. He swallowed a few more gulps of soup and stared at the large spoon he was holding while stroking his long hair with his free hand. The look on his face seemed confused, almost distracted. Yet, she felt that he was actually concentrating really hard, as if he was trying to remember something. No, that's ridiculous she thought. He can't have forgotten his own name. "_I am afraid I can't recall my real name anymore._" The stranger's reply came as such a direct answer to her thoughts that she almost blushed. She quickly swallowed down some soup to hide her nervousness.

But the man showed no signs of having noticed it. He put the half-empty bowl down on the floor and slowly rose to his feet. His skinny body made him look that much taller as he walked towards the window. Anna half-expected him to hit his head on the low ceiling but that was just a silly thought. Outside the storm had already begun to break out and the only sounds that could be heard inside the small room were the howling of the wind as it whipped the hut with rainwater and the crackling noise of the almost extinguished fire. "_A long time ago…when I chose to join the SA…I still had my name. But the head of the Recruit Division told me that my old name was inappropriate for my duties. And therefore I was given a new name by the Overlord, same as everyone else I know. It's Stryker now. Jonathan Stryker_."

Anna felt even more baffled than before. But the man's strange words rang true, if not a tad sad, and her curiosity was aroused. _"That is not a Ukrainian name. Where are you from? Do you work for some foreign government?" _ This scenario was her best attempt to make sense of everything the man had said, although she had to admit that his attire alone disproved such thoughts. She had once seen a Bureaucrat from Kosiv when she was little. He was passing through Kosmach on his way back to the city and had decided to stay there for the night. He was dressed in rich and fine clothes, with a long crimson cape and black leather boots. He was leading a small party of followers and they were all riding beautiful ebony stallions.

The man stared at her for a second before bursting into laughter. It was a hoarse thing to hear, his laughter, but in all its harshness it maintained something of his earlier wicked grin. Becoming aware of her folly, Anna began chuckling and was soon doubled up with laughter as well. For a few moments, the raging storm and the depressing fire no longer existed as a very different sound filled the air. Stryker was the first to regain his composure, wiping tears from his eyes and throwing his hair back before answering. "_I have been called many things ever since I joined the Shinigami Association, but a government agent…oh Lord, that's a first._" Seeing the girl's puzzled look, he made an attempt to clarify himself. "_Shinigami Association, or SA for short. It's the headcount of all the Shinigami throughout the world. I take it you have not heard of us before, have you?_"

Anna opened her mouth instinctively but immediately realized that she had really nothing to say. "_Let me guess; you don't know what a Shinigami is, right?_" The girl nodded while simultaneously blushing. This time Stryker noticed it but managed to avoid laughing again. Instead, he donned his crooked smile before continuing. "_There is really no reason to feel ashamed. Come to think of it, this is probably my own fault. I believed I could speak your language fairly adequately but it turns out that I cannot even explain to you my own job. Shinigami literally means "god of death". Of course, that is not very literal by itself, is it? You may think of me as a grim reaper._"

Anna stared at him for a while, trying to spot any signs that he was messing with her. If he was lying about all that, there was not a hint of it in his face. The man's tone was too casual, bored even, but it was obvious that he was telling the truth; or at least he believed what he was saying was true. Despite that, when she spoke her voice was more than a bit bitter. "_A grim reaper? You mean, like a reaper of souls? That sort of reaper? Like the monster that walks during the night and steals people's souls? Do you also carry with you a scythe?_"

The man must have picked up on the scorn in her voice but chose not to react to it. Actually, he seemed rather relieved Anna had caught up with him so quickly. "_I am your regular grim reaper, more or less. I am neither a monster nor a thief but collecting souls is indeed my job and I do have an appropriate tool for the task, much like the one you mentioned. Would you like me to show it to you?_" Without waiting for an answer, Stryker moved quickly towards the bed where he had left his wooden box. Presenting a small key from somewhere within his rags, he carefully unlocked the three golden locks that kept the box shut. As he opened it slowly, Anna noticed a small crest of sorts that was carved on it. The symbol itself appeared to be very elaborate in detail but the faint light emitted by the small candle did not let her make out what it depicted exactly. However, when she saw the item inside, she forgot all about the box and its crest.

Stryker held the item with such tender softness that he was almost hilarious to look at. The object itself though was truly frightening to behold. At first Anna couldn't understand what it was exactly but suddenly the reflection of the candlelight on the pale steel revealed the familiar deadly edge. It was indeed a scythe, folded carefully into itself. As the man silently developed it to its full size, Anna backed away a few steps until she reached the small table. Mistaking her fear for timidity, Stryker laughed out loudly once more. "_Don't be shy, lovely girl. Come take a closer look. Isn't she too beautiful for words?_"

That's one way of describing it, Anna thought to herself without moving an inch. Before her was a monstrous scythe, almost seven feet tall, that was overshadowing in size even its beanpole of an owner. She could hardly believe such a thing fitted so perfectly inside Stryker's box, which now paled in comparison. While she was pondering that, the whole room was unexpectedly illuminated by the first lightning of that night. As the almost blinding flash instantly drowned the tiny space, revealing every little corner there was to be seen, Anna finally saw Jonathan Stryker for what he really was.

Her scream was muffled by the deafening thunderclap that ensued. The candle fell from her hands and crashed on the floor. Everything was immersed in a wave of impenetrable darkness. Quickly overcoming her panic, Anna moved hastily towards the smoldering embers right behind her. There is a second candle right above the fireplace, she remembered. She hadn't taken more than a couple of steps when a commanding voice pinned her down. "_Stay still_!" She heard a slithering noise and quickly turned around to face Stryker. He was still standing at the exact same spot she had left him at, before the little chaos caused by the last bolt of lightning. His menacing-looking scythe was now left leaning on the wall right beside the bed. Same as before, Anna couldn't take her eyes off it. This time, however, it was due to an entirely different reason.

The metal gave off a faint, almost imperceptible glow. It wasn't really light; Anna could sense something was peculiar about it. It was more like a luminous aura that originated from the metal itself and surrounded the whole scythe, giving it an intensively unreal look. As Anna gazed at it, mesmerized by its out-of-this-world beauty, the pale radiance seemed to grow brighter and brighter until the room was once again that night engulfed by a sparkling flash.

"_You really shouldn't wander about when the lights are out. You will end up hurting yourself. And we wouldn't want that now, would we?_" The man's words were as mocking as his smile. Anna saw his face clearly under the bright light. It seemed different, somehow. He had the same frivolous smile as before but now his whole expression was darker and deeper. His eyes glittered more than ever, two yellowish-green gems in a sea of silver luminance. "_Who are you? What do you want from me?_"

"_I am just a wandering reaper. You needn't fear me. As to what I want…that is slightly more complicated. Why don't you sit down? The delicious soup you made has cooled down a bit but that makes it all the more enjoyable in my book._" Having said that he lied down on the bed once again and picked up the bowl he had left on the floor next to it. Anna hesitated for a moment before sitting down as well right across him, keeping her distance from the weapon on the wall. She had a gulp of soup; the warm liquid burned her throat and cleared her thoughts. "_Are you telling the truth? Are you really what you claim to be? You swear that you mean me no harm?_"

"_Why would I harm someone who accommodates me? And when it comes to what I am, if you haven't believed me by now then I have no interest in pursuing that goal any longer. You're not an atheist, are you?_" Anna blushed again, this time though she could feel anger building up inside her. "_Of course not! I believe in our Lord with all my might_! _But whatever you may be, don't expect me to acknowledge you as a god of anything, let alone death._" Stryker finished his soup and stared a bit at the empty bowl before answering. "_It wasn't meant as an insult. I have met some good atheists. And you're right, I am not really a god or anything like that._"

Anna examined him with her eyes. His self-assured smile and ironic tone were absent from that last statement. She reflected for a while on what he said and asked without looking at him. "_Then what are you? Do you mean to tell me that you are human, like me?_" She could feel the man's stare but still refused to face him. "_I haven't been human for more than a century. I gave up my mortality in order to join the SA. I've been a Shinigami ever since._" After hearing that Anna could no longer bear to avert her eyes from him; Stryker however was now looking at his scythe while still speaking. "_You look very young. I'd be surprised if you were more than two decades old. But the century behind me has been very long, my dear, and eternity before me is longer still. I hope that now you'll excuse me for having forgotten my human name._"

Anna felt the need to say something but she was still processing all that the man had just said. Besides, Stryker was not finished. He kept on talking in a deep, reflective tone with his eyes still fixed on the deathscythe. "_I know that I was born in Constantinople in 1417. I know that because that is what my file says. However, I cannot picture the city in my mind anymore. I was born in 1417 and I joined the SA in 1453. Apart from that though there is hardly anything else in the file about my short stint as a human_." He began laughing again but this time it was more of a husky growl that soon faded into nothing. Yet another lightning occurred but this time Anna hardly noticed the boom, lost as she was in her thoughts.

"_What is it that you do exactly?_" Anna wasn't sure that she wanted to hear the answer to that question but Stryker seemed happy that his human past was no longer the subject and he replied pretty quickly. "_It's a common misconception among mortals that the Shinigami kill humans and steal their souls. That is just absurd. Humans die on their own account, through various ways. We do not interfere with your life or death but rather what follows afterwards._" He sat more comfortably on the bed and took his scythe in his hands. Ignoring Anna's frightened look, he gave her the weapon before continuing. "_That is a deathscythe. It is the tool we use to harvest the souls of the dead mortals that we are assigned to. We don't hack the dead bodies up or anything that gruesome. Deathscythes merely allow us to have a look at the dead human's life, from the moment they were born till the moment they bit the dust. Our…well, panoramic perspective allows us to understand the human in question better than anyone, save perhaps their own self._"

Anna was petrified while still staring at the glowing weapon in her hand. For a moment it seemed that she had not heard a word of what the reaper had just said. But before his pause could drag on too long she raised her head. "_What is the point of that?_" Stryker blinked in apparent confusion and looked at the deathscythe as well. "_Oh, you mean the harvest? It is crucial for us to fully appreciate everything a human has done or not done in their life before passing our judgment on them._" This time Anna looked straight into the reaper's eyes and asked in a tone that signified anger. "_Your judgment? You are the ones who judge us humans?_"

Stryker must have sensed it because, instead of answering, he stood up and walked towards the door. He unlocked it and had a look outside before promptly closing it again. "_The damn storm is still keeping at it, though I can sense it weakening. In any case, I sure am glad I'm inside._" Anna stared at him coldly before repeating her question. "_What did you mean earlier by judgment?_" The reaper raised his shoulders nonchalantly before answering. "_Exactly what I said. Since all Shinigami have ascended from being base humans to a higher state of being, it's only natural that we get to judge your little lives, no?_"

Anna placed the deathscythe carefully on the bed before turning to look at Jonathan Stryker. Everything about him was exasperating, from his condescending tone to his arrogant gaze. She slowly stood up as well and walked towards the reaper. "_You can't remember your name, let alone your previous life as a human. It's been more than a hundred years since you last were human. Your sole proof that you really did exist as a human being in this world is an incomplete file someone else has made for you.__ Explain to me, how does someone like you get to judge a human life?_"

The reaper half-opened his mouth to reply…and then closed it. His eyes were burning as he was staring at the young woman in front of him. There was no doubt that her words had touched him but he couldn't find a way to strike back. After an extended silence he resorted to repeating what the Overlord had said during the graduation ceremony. "_We are indeed suitable to carry out this duty we've been charged with. The distance we have put between ourselves and the mortals has ensured our uncompromising impartiality on all cases. We do not discriminate based on race, gender or personal convictions. We pass judgment based solely on objective facts._" Stryker paused for a moment to catch his breath; it was obvious that he had more to say. He had learned the Overlord's speech by heart. But he didn't have the chance to finish it.

"_You mistake impartiality with sterilization. You gave up your humanity and degenerated into a cold, undead spectator. Human lives have lost their importance to you. You examine them in the same way a scientist would observe a bunch of bugs kept in a jar._" This time the silence seemed that it would never end. The sound of the storm dominated the room; it was clear that its intensity had begun to weaken. As Anna picked up the empty bowls, a previously unanswered question popped up in her head. "_Why are you here, reaper?_"

Stryker nervously cleared his throat before speaking. "_I'm not sure what you mean. I requested shelter and you were kind enough to provide it for me. I am exceedingly grateful._" The girl froze and lowered her eyes. Before her the reaper's scythe was still giving off the same dazzling radiance. By chance, the weapon's wooden case lied nearby and Anna noticed again the small crest that was carved on it. Now she could clearly discern what its depiction was. A double-headed eagle could be seen soaring with both its wings full spread. Each head was facing towards opposing directions while the beast itself was behind what seemed to be a giant shield. Above it stood a crown. At the bottom there was a single phrase written but the girl could not understand the language. The words came out of her mouth so abruptly that surprised even her. "_You are here to kill me._"

Stryker was too busy processing everything the girl had told him and wasn't paying much attention to what she was doing. He always regarded his newfound nature as a gift; a release from the infinite limitations and failings of humanity, a natural and much-desired evolution. Still, the girl's disdain at all he was and represented had managed to undermine his confidence. At first he didn't react to Anna's words. Slowly, like a man awakened from a long and deep sleep, he managed to mumble something. "_What are you talking about? I told you already that I don't kill humans, girl. I have never killed anyone._ _At least not since I became a Shinigami._" The storm outside was finally over but it hadn't fully stopped raining yet. Before Anna could say anything else, Stryker added with a sly smile. "_Of course, that does not necessarily mean that you will survive this night._"

As Anna instinctively attempted to rise from the bed, a stabbing pain in her belly forced her to collapse once more. She tried to muffle her own moan and turned her head to face Stryker. The reaper was watching her closely with an unfathomable expression on his face. He seemed almost bored with the sight but his eyes were staring at the dying girl with evident interest. "_It was your neighbor, you know. The one who poisoned you, I mean._" His voice was calm and steady, neither happy nor sad. "_He cut a deal with a creature from…my side of the fence. He demanded the eradication of your entire family in exchange for his soul. I am afraid that both your parents as well as your elder sister died before I could track down the beast and slay it."_

Anna's breath had become heavy and erratic. She tried to see her family in her mind one last time but Stryker's words wouldn't let her be at peace. "_I assume he intends to take over your father's seat as head of the local municipality of villages…although I am no longer able to correctly guess the low desires of humans. He is a moron, in any case. He'll die in a freak accident before the end of the month. Does that knowledge make you feel any better?_" Instead of a response, Anna coughed up some blood and, with almost superhuman strength, she managed to half-lift herself.

Stryker rose to his feet as well and reached out to grab his deathscythe. "_Had it not been for that infernal storm, I wouldn't have bothered you with my presence this evening. I usually wait patiently on the roof for my cue._" Anna could scarcely hear Stryker anymore; an increasing buzzing noise filled her ears. She saw the reaper towering above her with the scythe in hand. "_I want you to know that I really did enjoy our little chat. You have given me a lot to think about; I haven't had anything to think about except the job for such a long time…_" He then noticed that the girl's lips were half-opened; she was trying to spell out something but her mouth was filled with blood. "_Oh? Do you have any final words you wish to share?_" As he lowered his head to get closer to her, the reaper unwittingly doomed himself to be forever haunted by that stormy night.

"_You are a fool, Jonathan Stryker. One day the truth will find you…and it will have its toll on you._"

The yellowish-green eyes flashed with burning rage. They were meant to be the last thing Anna would see in this world. The Shinigami clenched his fingers and raised his scythe as his fury was gradually being replaced by fear.


End file.
